Theo’s Birth Story

On a Sunday, two days before Theo was born, I woke up with some light contractions. They went from about 4am-9am. As they began to fizzle, we decided to bring our toddler to her sitter, hoping that removing the stress of having to care for a tiny human would allow my body to go into labor without inhibition.
But even though we dropped her off, my contractions did not return. We relaxed, went for a walk, and went to Target (which is my idea of a good time) hoping something might trigger them to return. And then around 4pm, my beautiful friend, who was using ALL the same birth team as I was, said she was pretty certain she was in labor! While I was SO excited for her, I knew that this meant my mind wouldn’t let me go into labor. (Yes. Your mind IS this powerful as to control your labor).
So we picked up our toddler and headed home.
[Monday was pretty uneventful. Jake encouraged me to go to the pool and relax/have some fun with Vada, so we did.]
Tuesday morning, I woke around 4 having some contractions. But having had several mornings of inconsistent, nonproductive contractions from 4-6am sporadically for the past 3-4 weeks, I tried not to put too much weight into it.
But when it was about 6am, and the contractions not only continued, but also intensified, I figured it was time to update the birth team (who, by the way, had only had about 12 hours of rest from the time they got home from my friend’s birth until the time I was telling them it was go time for us! They’re troopers!).
I texted everyone what was going on, and my midwife and I hopped on the phone to discuss more. She said she was pretty sure I was in labor, and would start getting herself together.
We brought our daughter to her sitter at 10am. With tears in my eyes, I gave her the biggest hug and kiss, knowing this was the last time she would be my only baby- the last time she would be an only child; that the next time I saw her, she would be a big sister and she would have to learn to share Mommy and Daddy. Excited and sad all at the same time.
So we dropped her off and came right back home.

A little back story: I labored by myself for 98% of my first labor. So a big part of me feared going into this birth that having so many people around would cause me to freeze up and for my labor to stall.
So as I waited for my team to arrive, I just focused on my body and my needs, and tried to tune everything else out- including the arrival of each member of our birth team.

Our photographer/doula was the first to arrive (with delicious bagels in hand 🤤). We hung out, watched The Office, and I leaned into my birth ball, made some serious moans and groans, and rocked my hips back and forth with each contraction. The movement was comforting, and also helped the progress of baby through my pelvis! Jake offered hip squeezes and counter pressure, but I really didn’t want a lot of physical support- I just wanted my people there.
Between contractions, we were chatting, laughing, drinking water, and snacking on bagels.
I felt like my contractions slowed for a bit there...I was SO nervous I would end up being the girl who cried wolf if my labor stalled literally RIGHT after we called for the birth team to assemble. 😖 Thank goodness that didn’t end up being the case!
I remember our doula getting on the phone with our midwife at some point to update her how things were progressing.
Because my last birth went so fast, my midwife requested I not spend any time on the toilet- especially if I felt like I needed to poop (a good sign that baby is about to be born).
Probably about 15 minutes after that, I quickly went to the bathroom- my doula said, “don’t go to the bathroom!” But this time it was just to 🤮.
And that’s when I knew this was real. Today was the day we’re going to meet our baby boy.
Next to arrive was our shadowing doula ❤️- a good friend, new in her doula role in life, who had asked several months earlier to see as many home births as she could! We gladly invited her to ours.
Honestly, after that everything went so fast.
We had set up the tub with water (which had cooled down a lot from the time we put it in). So when our midwife and her assistants arrived shortly after, they started warming up the water, but didn’t have a lot of time to do so. While they were doing that, my midwife said it was time to get in the tub if I wanted to.
Through each contraction, Jake was reciting my birth affirmations to me. As it turns out, hearing him recite words that I know weren’t his own actually annoyed the heck out of me and I told him to stop 🤣 (it’s ok to figure out IN labor that you were wrong about what you thought would be helpful!)
Pretty immediately after getting in the tub, I felt the urge to push. I’m not sure how many contractions I had, but I don’t believe it was many! However...holy smokes did he make me work for it! I’ve joked about it before that sometimes it feels like my daughter just kind of fell out. But this little boy...I had to work hard to PUSH. I kept spinning around in the tub trying to find the position that felt the most productive with my contractions. I felt every bit of the fact that he was more than two pounds heavier than his big sister was at birth.
I don’t know how my midwife could see in the water, but she knew exactly when to tell me to reach down and feel my baby, which helped me to feel how close I was to being done! She could see me tensing up and holding my breath, and reminded me to breathe my baby down. I did not have any suggestions on WHEN to push from our team, or for how long to push like you see in the movies. They knew that listening to my body was what was best.
After feeling no progress for a couple contractions, his head finally popped out (while the rest of his body was yet to be born)!
Unlike my daughter, he stayed there for a few contractions. Even though I knew better, I was SO worried that staying under the water for so long (even though it probably wasn’t all that long) would be harmful to him- so I had to keep checking with my midwife that he was still ok and nothing bad would happen if he stayed under water.
Once his shoulders passed through after a few contractions, at 12:57pm I reached down and caught my baby boy (my #1 goal in both births). 🥰 I adjusted his neck within moments of me lifting him out of the water for the first time.
Once our midwife made sure all was well with me and Theo, they stepped to the next room to give us a few moments of privacy while we waited for my placenta to be born.
There was so much peace and calm in those first few moments with our brand new baby boy 😍
Once my placenta was born, we got out of the tub and made our way to our bed where I would rest.
Just like in Vada’s birth, this is also where things got dicey.
I vaguely remember what happened, but not necessarily the order, and definitely had NO concept of time.
The short version of this story is that I had a sufficient amount of bleeding. Enough that it was medically categorized as a hemorrhage. But with the incredibly skilled and knowledgeable team we have, it was well-managed without having to transfer to the hospital. We are SO grateful for that.
As my midwife made recommendations to control the bleeding, we had informed conversations at each step. We talked about the benefits and risks of each suggestion; we talked about what would happen if we waited or chose not to do it at all. Mamas who are still here reading, please PLEASE hear me when I say this: you CANNOT put a price on how valuable it is to have not only a knowledgeable birth team, but one that respects you enough to have these conversations with you and supports you in whatever decision you make. I hated the bleeding, I hated having to have fundal massage as much as I did, I hated having to be catheterized to pee...but I have ONE HUNDRED percent birth satisfaction because I felt respected in my birth. Every single mom deserves to feel how I feel.
It took a few hours, lots of chlorophyll (followed by A LOT of bright green puke), more cotton root than I ever wanted, SO much fundal massage, and some cytotec to get me stable. Once our team was confident I was good to go, Jake picked up Vada to bring her home and meet her baby brother 😭 And IMMEDIATELY, she was smitten with him, and continues to be the absolute sweetest big sister I’ve ever seen.