Surround Yourself with Positivity
Man, do those traumatic pregnancy and birth stories come out of the woodwork the second you announce your pregnancy, or what?!
Maybe you haven’t spoken to Sarah since middle school, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the second you make your pregnancy Facebook official, she’s going to dump every last detail of her traumatic births with you! And Great Aunt Eunice is absolutely going to tell you about how miserable the end of pregnancy was for her all 8 times she did it. 🙃
But their births and pregnancies aren’t YOUR birth or pregnancy. You have to keep reminding yourself of that, though it may be hard at times.
Some tips on drowning them out:
For every bit of negative shares you get, make sure to combat it with POSITIVE. If you don’t have anyone in your life who had a positive pregnancy or birth, go online! There are so many resources where moms share their positive birth stories. NEXT LEVEL TIP: if you are having a specific type of birth, search for positive birth stories that are specific to that type of birth. For example, if you know you are going to have an induction, go search, “positive induction birth story.” (And sometimes things like that are good to read even if that’s not what you’re planning for, since sometimes birth doesn’t go as planned- so it’ll be good to know that, even though not planned, all births can be positive.)
Only surround yourself with cheerleaders! If that stinkin’ Great Aunt Eunice is a cloud of darkness every time she calls…stop picking up her calls. You can even make your partner the bad guy- let them field the call. If you want to be direct about why (perhaps a gentle, “Hey, Kimmie wants to only surround herself with positivity this pregnancy. She’s not taking calls right now if you aren’t going to share something light and exciting about pregnancy.” or you can just keep skirting the call, “She’s super busy right now.”). It’s ok to set boundaries and protect your peace- always- but especially during pregnancy.
Meditate on what is most LIKELY happening! It’s so easy to get into the “what if this is going poorly? what if my baby isn’t healthy? what if I won’t get the birth I want?” Focus on the good. Visualize what you WANT (don’t think about what you’re trying to avoid) and do everything in your power to work TOWARD that (as opposed to your energy being spent on moving away from what you don’t want). There are even guided meditations that are specific to birth and pregnancy. You can grab some that we have HERE.
Knowing what to expect in labor is such an important step here. For example, if you don’t understand what TRANSITION is, it’s probably going to scare the tar out of you, and make you abandon all of your goals for an unmedicated birth (if that’s you). But if you can recognize what it is and when it’s happening, you’ll be able to navigate through it, knowing that it means your baby is almost here- you’re approaching the finish line, and you don’t need to abandon ship!
Use some birth affirmations! They’re a great way to guide your thinking and visualizing to the birth you desire.